The Astrologer’s Tale

January 8, 2009

Once there was a young man who traveled widely in search of knowledge and wisdom. He sat on the ground and looked at the night sky. He saw what his ancestors had seen: There was Cassiopeia, leaning from her chair to watch Andromeda chained to the rock, menaced by the constellation Draco and saved by Perseus. He saw what other ancestors had seen. There was Orion, the Sky Father of India, reaching out to capture the Red Goddess we call Aldebaran, with Shiva rising after him as the bright star Sirius to shoot an arrow through his belt. There was the great Fish Hook of Heaven (we call it Scorpio) which the demi-god Maui was about to cast across the sky, hoping to catch the great fish which lay in Gemini at the Gateway of the Souls.

 

He wondered: “What does it all mean?” He resolved to study astrology and find out.

 

A beautiful woman, robed in white, came walking by. She handed him a key. He was not very interested. He was eager to rush off and study astrology. Trying to be polite, he put the key in his vest pocket and asked: “What does it unlock?”

 

She said: “Where you are.”

 

That didn’t make much sense to the young man, so he proceeded with his astrological studies. He soon came to the conclusion that astrologers must be a species of politicians, for they had the horoscopes of every known political figure and discussed these documents constantly. The Young Astrologer found a candidate whom he respected, one who stood for truth and justice. He said: “In a benevolent world, truth and justice must prevail. Surely my candidate will win!” But when he looked at the candidate’s transits, all he could see were squares from Saturn, oppositions from Pluto, conjunctions with Mars. At last he found a quintile from Neptune to the Moon. He said: “A quintile is a magical and beautiful thing! Surely this means that my candidate will win and that truth and justice will prevail!” And the Young Astrologer talked loudly, making his predictions to anyone who would listen.

 

After his candidate lost the election, the Young Astrologer said: “Perhaps one cannot really predict the future. In any case, I shall leave politics to the politicians and begin the study of psychology.”

 

The Young Astrologer became an adept in psychology. Soon he had many clients. There was a man whom he particularly enjoyed. When the man asked: “Is this a good time to buy a car?” the Young Astrologer replied, “You are going through a cycle of transformation.” When the man asked: “Is this a good time to buy a house?” the Young Astrologer replied, “You are going through a cycle of transformation.”

 

Then the man came to him and said: “My wife is seeing another man. When I confronted her about it, she hit me over the head with a baseball bat, stole the new car I purchased, and drove away from the house that I bought.” The Young Astrologer said, “Truly, this is a time of most extraordinary transformation!”

 

After his broken nose was mended and his teeth were reconstructed, the Young Astrologer said: “I am not serving my clients properly. Obviously, I still don’t know enough.”

 

The Astrologer began to study computers. He learned how to include midpoint trees, Draconic charts and many other things with each and every horoscope. In time he developed brand new fractal equations to measure previously unknown factors in solar arc directions and tertiary progressions.

 

The Astrologer, now no longer young, became lighter than air. He subsisted only upon cybernetic energy. Though he now knew everything, he was losing money. When his clients came into his office, they could no longer see him. He was floating high above them, and his thin voice no longer carried through the ethers to reach those who were still marooned on earth. At last, he had to shackle himself to his CPU to keep from floating away altogether.

 

One night, while drifting through space, he saw something he had never seen before. There was a door in the ceiling. Behind it there was light. How was he to open the door and reach that light? He remembered that there was a key in his vest pocket. It had been there for many years. Unchaining himself from the CPU, he tried the key in the door. It fit perfectly.

 

Suddenly, the Astrologer was drifting in the night sky. After so many years indoors, the night air felt strange on his face. The dew collected upon his hair and beard, making him heavier, bringing him down to earth. He gasped in amazement at the feeling of grass upon his bare feet.

 

He looked up. His old friends were still there. He saw what his ancestors had seen. There was Cassiopeia, leaning from her chair to watch Andromeda chained to the rock, menaced by the constellation Draco and saved by Perseus. He saw what other ancestors had seen. There was Orion, the Sky Father of India, reaching out to capture the Red Goddess we call Aldebaran, with Shiva rising after him as the bright star Sirius to shoot an arrow through his belt. There was the great Fish Hook of Heaven (we call it Scorpio) which the demi-god Maui was about to cast across the sky, hoping to catch the great fish which lay in Gemini at the Gateway of the Souls.

 

A beautiful woman, robed in white, came walking by. She looked strangely familiar. Sitting down next to him, she asked:

 

“What does it all mean?”

 

Smiling, the Wise Astrologer began to speak.

 

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